You Don’t Have to be a Celebrity to Change the World.
The Story of How an Ordinary Man Was Able to Create a Legacy.
No one knows what their legacy will be. There are moments in our life when we reflect on our successes and wonder if this is what we will be remembered for. However, our legacy lies not in what we plan, but rather, how our actions and words have impacted others. When someone passes away, we always think about the effect the deceased has had on our lives. A great impact is based upon the emphasis the deceased placed on planning their life and legacy. When my father-in-law, or Abu as we called him, passed away, I found myself reflecting heavily on his life’s work.
Background Information
Abu came to America in the early 80’s, when New York’s neighborhoods were far from diverse. Racist remarks such as, “Go back to your country,” and “You are ruining the neighborhood,” were unfortunately the norm. However, hatred did not have the power to derail him from his vision, as he always knew his worth. Victimization is a sign of weakness and he dwelled in the realm of mental strength. Abu persevered and encouraged his children to do the same. He came to America as an air marshal for Pakistani International Airlines but when he was offered a promotion to relocate back Pakistan, he resigned and stayed in America. Residing in America would give his children greater opportunities and the American dollar had the power to help his family in Kashmir. Abu did not have an ego and did whatever was necessary to take care of his family. He became a yellow cab driver and worked multiple jobs. However, that is not where his dreams ended but rather started. He understood what he needed in order to survive and everything else was allocated to those who struggled to sustain life.
My father-in-law hails from Azad Kashmir, a region in which independence, stability and peace is constantly fluctuating. A contested land between India, China and Pakistan that has left many on the brinks of poverty. While most people are occupied with the American dream, Abu always had one foot in Kashmir. It is easy to forget hunger, poverty and distress when you are hundreds of miles away. That is what made him different: he never forgot. It mattered to him. Throughout his entire life, he always aided the poor and made sure the “stoves” of widows and orphans remained on. Providing food allowed these women to provide sustenance for their families but it did not solve the problem. His life’s work was about providing solutions to problems that was plaguing a part of the world he had access to.
The Vision
Towards the later part of his life, Abu constructed a building and partnered with Fauji School. The school encompasses students from elementary school through college in Rawalakot Kashmir. Abu always encouraged and valued education as it was one of the means of breaking the cycle of poverty. It empowers people personally to change their living and eventually their political circumstances. Knowledge is the precursor to acquire political and social justice. Abu, also supported political parties in Kashmir that advocated for the end of political strife in Kashmir. He wanted a solution to the Kashmiri crisis, so his people could focus on their personal development. The instability in Kashmir contributed to the stagnant development of its people. When you are focused solely on survival, pursuing knowledge becomes secondary. However, no educated population will ever stand for ill treatment from illegitimate rulers.
Armed with the ideology, Abu utilized what was given to him to enrich his vision. He constructed a few more buildings brick by brick (displayed below). As he collected more money, he added to his vision. His children, now adults supported his venture as well. He used his retirement savings and social security to complete his projects. He wanted to create jobs in Kashmir to help their economy and people. As long as he had a place to live and food to eat, everything else was used to help others. It seems unfeasible for the average man to accomplish such a vision and Abu was not wealthy by any means. He was a simple man, minimalist by nature, who navigated through the world wearing cotton shalwar kameez (traditional Pakistani clothing) a beard, and the best of manners. This simplicity transcended to all aspects of his life.
Abu was able to create two schools which have the power to change the lives of so many people. That made him the happiest I ever saw him. It brought him great joy to show his family the process, development and growth of his vision. His generosity was contagious and he encouraged those around him to do better. Most of us believe that great things can only happen if we are celebrities or very wealthy. Abu showed us you don’t have to be either to make a difference in the world. It is a fundamental lesson to learn, that everyone, regardless of the socioeconomic status, has the power to change their piece of the world. When my father-in-law passed away, it was sudden and extremely painful to those who loved him. As the news of his death spread, our family received a slew of unexpected phone calls, that shuffled the perception of his legacy. We saw the great work he did but there was so much about him we did not know.
There were three phone calls from strangers that stood out the most to me.
Phone call #1:
As she walked towards the building, she stared at the uneven ground. She had to meticulously plan each step because of her disability. Her mobility was a test of her mental and physical strength. She was a teacher, who loved her job and needed the money to help her family. She always went to work early because her disability made this the hardest part of her day. However today was different. He saw her, at the corner of his eyes. Then he saw her struggle through his eyes. She made it, but he saw the pain and effort it took to get to the door. He was in the middle of his own construction project but he asked his workers to come build steps and a handrail in front of the school. He didn’t ask permission from the school: he just did it. We found out only when she called. She was of no relation to him or anyone he knew.
On the authority of Abu Sa`eed al-Khudree (may Allah be pleased with him) who said:
The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings upon him once said, "If someone among you sees wrong he must right it by his hand if he can (deed, conduct, action). If he cannot, then by his tongue (speak up, verbally oppose); if he cannot, then by his gaze (silent expression of disapproval); and if he cannot, then in his heart.
Phone call# 2:
He stared at the wall; eyes fixated on the peeling paint. He looked down at his hands and held them up to pray. His hospital bed had become his prison, he could not escape the pain and no medication could solve his problem. The doctors informed him, he needed to have surgery to save his life. He was a simple man of meager means. He did not have an insurance plan or relatives that could loan him money. He laid in dismay for a few days, until a messenger came. Muhammad Arif Saab (Abu), sent the money to pay for his surgery. They did not know one another but Abu had heard about his situation. When he called, he was crying hysterically on the phone because he had survived his surgery and all he wanted to do was thank the person who had selflessly helped a stranger. He was waiting patiently in Kashmir, for Abu’s return. Abu passed away before he could thank him.
The Believers, men and women, are protectors one of another: they enjoin what is just, and forbid what is evil: they observe regular prayers, practice regular charity, and obey Allah and His Messenger(s). On them will Allah pour His mercy: for Allah is Exalted in power, Wise. (Quran 9:71)
Phone call #3:
The room was full of well-wishers and he was surrounded by words of comfort and tears, yet he felt so alone. He wanted to be with the man that had sacrificed so much to raise him. He recently migrated to Pennsylvania to pursue the “American Dream.” It was a costly dream, as he could not afford a plane ticket to see his father in Kashmir. His father was on his death bed and he was hundreds of miles away. Abu came to pay his respects to this young man as they were both countrymen. Abu understood the sacrifice he made to leave his homeland and all things familiar to have a brighter future. As he embraced him, he placed an envelope in the pocket of his shirt. He whispered in his ears, “You can make millions in America but none of it will replace your father. Go see your father.” He swiftly booked a flight to bid his farewell to his beloved father. He got to hold his father’s hand and say prayers as his father passed away. While he was there, Abu called and asked if he needed more money to aide in the burial. He cried on the phone, as he shared how Abu selflessly helped him when he needed it the most.
Ali ibn al-Husain (r.a.) is reported to have said,
“The right of your father on you is that you should know that it is he who brought you into existence, and you are a branch of the tree of his life.”
There were more phone calls, tears and sadness as strangers mourned his death. Most of the good deeds Abu did were in secret. This type of thinking is quite the antithesis to social media platforms where people are constantly showcasing their charity. We all want people to think positively about us, but how? I thought I understood his legacy but it was far more complicated then I realized. His death changed my life and I want a legacy too...
I have witnessed many people who have passed away but not everyone leaves a memorable or large legacy. Life is multifaceted and living with a purpose allows us to live with greater satisfaction, happiness and hope. Below are practical steps we can all take to maximize our legacy.
Maximizing Our Legacy
1.Belief/Faith- Believing in something greater than yourself, God. Living in this world as a traveler, never too attached to the worldly pleasures and understanding that everything will come to an end. To say you believe but manifest it through your actions. Your body parts must act as serving spoons of the heart and mind.
2.Sincerity- The smallest of deeds can be the most magnificent if done with pure sincerity. They do not require thanks or money. The story of the prostitute who fed the dog water has been preserved in the monotheistic or Abrahamic faiths. As she passed by the dog panting for water and dying of thirst, she provided water. For her deed was recorded and it was understood God forgave her wrongdoings. The preservation of this story and her actions have shown humanity that the smallest deed can have the biggest impact.
The legacy we leave behind doesn’t have to be etched into monuments or even in the construction of buildings. It could be as simple as teaching someone how to read or make a dish. The root of that good deed is traced back to you.
3.Simplicity- Projects or acts of purpose take time. It also requires sacrifice; Abu accumulated only his essentials which gave him financial freedom. This increased his savings and the value of his money. He chose to spend his time and money pursuing the things he loved. Abu illuminated happiness and wisdom to all that were around him because his heart was invested in meaningful things.
4.Humility- To leave a positive legacy, true leaders are humble. They are genuinely respected by the people. The ego must cease to exist. Every great leader is a servant of his people. There are famous people today who surround themselves with people who boost their ego and are “yes men.” They believe they are respected, knowledgeable and loved. However, it is not real. Nelson Mandela fought for equality for all people in South Africa. He was imprisoned for 27 years but he remained steadfast on his beliefs.
Human beings cannot live as second-class citizens it goes against the natural laws that govern the universe. Mandela’s sincerity drove his vision, manifested his beliefs into action and eventually led him to serve as the President of South Africa. True glory is given to those who do not seek it. Humility allows the people to love you. It is important to always check our intentions and ego.
In the Prophet Muhammad’s last sermon he said “All mankind is from Adam and Eve, an Arab has no superiority over a non-Arab nor a non-Arab has any superiority over an Arab; also a white has no superiority over a ublack nor a black has any superiority over a white – except by piety and good action.”
5. Patience- We cannot leave a legacy without giving our time to procure it. It takes consistency, hard work and sacrifice. A legacy requires us to get down in the trenches and dig and consistency in all that you intend to do. There will always be role models amongst us. Leaders who rise above everyone else. Our legacy will require consistency of interest and perseverance of action. Look to the past for inspiration and remember we all have the power to change our part of the world.
6. Focus- Social media does a great job of sharing and updating its subscribers/followers on current events. It is important to empathize support movements that impacts humanity. However, try to pick a cause that resonates with you and focus on creating changes. Learning about political strife and oppression around the world is really depressing. If you have direct access to a part of the world, movement or cause than use that as an opportunity collaborate with others. If you focus on everything, you will not get anything accomplished. When you refine your purpose, it allows you to make an impact. Start small and work towards bigger projects to avoid burning out.
Some of us have a desire to change the world and it is often unclear of how to do it. I wanted to share the story of a very ordinary man, who lived his life, free from the confines of fear or any system. He did not allow his financial status to dictate his visions. My beautiful father in law always lived by the words of the Quran and Islam. The Prophet Muhammad said “Look to those who have less than you, and do not look to those who have more. This is more appropriate so that you do not overlook (or undervalue) the blessings of Allah that you have.” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim)
When one of us does better, we should all do better. I shared his story to heal from his loss and inspire myself and others. When we invest in humanity, we create a society where justice prevails.
To honor my father in law and what he stood for, we are raising money towards the construction of the NYCMC Expansion project which includes building and expanding an Islamic school for Pre-K to 12th grade, a Masjid, an Islamic Studies institute and a Muslim Community Center. 100% of ALL the donations will go towards this noble cause. To donate please use the link below:
https://secure.nycmuslimcenter.org/campaign/sadaqah-jariyah-for-muhammad-arif-khan/c291622
The Educators School- Rawalakot Campus
Fauji Foundation
