INSTAGRAM IS GIVING ME A PRE-MIDLIFE CRISIS!
INSTAGRAM IS GIVING ME A PRE-MIDLIFE CRISIS!
Contoured cheekbone fillers, labial folds, non-surgical nose jobs, breast augmentation and lip injections. Pull, lift, inject and plump. Juvederm, Restylane, Botox and Kybella. My Instagram feed, was a bombardment of plastic surgeons displaying anti-aging techniques, wrinkle relaxers and impossible standards of beauty. I have never even thought about my temples, until I watched a woman get hers filled because they were too hollow. The constant flow of procedures was giving me a pre- midlife crisis. Unconsciously it was creating feelings of discontent based on perceived flaws in my physical appearance. Plastic surgeons are adult magicians and I wanted to be part of their act.
I thought I was beyond social media being able to wreak havoc on my self-esteem and body image. After all, I am long past my impressionable teenage years. But here I am, contemplating what I would look like in my “after” pictures. Instagram has me staring at my aging face, looking at my flaws and searching for potential doctors. Aging can be a scary process because it is a transformation of one’s physical identity. My face has shaped my experiences and the way others perceive me. The way one feels on the inside is not always reflected on the outside. The change is daunting and takes time to come to terms with. As I scrolled through Instagram, these feelings were constantly brought to the forefront and I was lured into the idea of enhancing my facial features.
There are many ways, I could tackle this obsession. I have enough saved to inject and lift a few things. However, if I start this process, where would I stop? I did not even begin, and I have a long list of things I want to do. Then I would have to up keep up with all the tweaks, a never ending costly cycle. I spent a lot of time reflecting on, what was causing this fear against aging and my obsession with perfection. I understand the importance of beauty, but the constant exposure to this stimulus, lead to only thinking about my physical appearance. The endless flow of surgeries, inserted itself into my psyche and put all my other attributes in the background. I have learned the bombardment of images impacts younger and older women. The consequence is feelings of insecurity and fear towards aging and imperfection. So, I unfollowed all the plastic surgeons and the images, I was exposing myself too daily.
When I look at myself or reflect, I do not want to focus solely my physical appearance.When I look at others, I don’t want to focus on their labial folds, lips and dark circles. I am not against preservation of self, anti-aging regimens or people's choices to part take in cosmetic surgery. In fact, I have a routine I follow meticulously. I am against unremittingly convincing myself I am not good enough or valuable because I do not adhere to a certain standard of beauty. The media objectifies women as commodities or entities that can be replaced for newer and better versions. Self-objectification is just as detrimental. Surrounding oneself with positive energy starts with what is seen and read on a daily basis. Affirmations of self-worth and value are conscience decisions. I am not going to evaluate myself solely on my beauty. I have worked hard to create a mind whose intricacies are full of depth. To focus solely on my physical attributes and preventing aging is like trying to slay an invisible dragon. It is a battle, I will never win. Though I do have weapons consisting of serums and antioxidants to ease the impact of the fall.
The truth is, we all have this little piece of life to live. If we spend it focused on things we do not have, it takes away from enjoying the present and using our power to the fullest.
