Acne Stole My Youth: How I cured my Acne
Healthy skin is beautiful skin. Beautiful skin is healthy. - Howard Murad
When measured a decade is ten years, 120 months, 3650 days, and 87,600 hours. It is a long time to engage in a battle with my skin. My fight came as a surprise, I spent all four years of high school with blemish free, glowing skin. I had the type of skin that looked like I was wearing foundation while my peers were suffering from major break outs. However, once I entered college, the struggle with my skin began. It started with white heads and black heads beneath my epidermis. Eventually pimples became a permanent staple on my face. I felt so self-conscious when entering a room or speaking to others. One of the worse feelings is answering questions or listening to comments about my skin. I was my own worst critic, I did not need others to remind me of my physical abnormalities. When I did speak about my skin, I would feel my heart grow heavy and my eyes would fill up with tears. It physically hurt to have acne and emotionally it destroyed my self-esteem. I could not predict when I would have a break out. It felt like my skin was the worse when I wanted it to be best, holidays or weddings. Having grown up with great skin, finding a way to hide my face, was new. I had to learn to apply makeup and it covered my pimples but not my pain. Acne impacted my self-esteem, personality and interaction with others. Acne stole the light-heartedness of my twenties, it was emotional and expensive. My skin got progressively worse, before I could declare victory.
About myself:
I have always consumed a healthy diet, avoided junk food and soda. I consume fruit, high in antioxidants and drink a lot of water. I wash my sheets regularly with unscented detergent. I don’t fall asleep with my make up on, ever. I cleanse, tone and apply topical acne treatment nightly. I did not touch my face with my hands. Following this regimen would give most people glowing skin but I was doing all these rituals for a decade without any results. In fact, my skin, seemed to be getting worse. Throughout my twenties, I had horrible, unpredictable skin. I did not allow anyone to see me without make up. The assumption is most people with acne are really stressed out, do not take care of their skin or eat unhealthy foods. I can attest to trying my best to take care of my skin and body without any results.
Over the Counter-
When you suffer with acne, there is a desperation that exists within you to find a cure. I was always hoping to find the next best thing, a new solution to all my problems, from Neutrogena, Aveeno, Clearasil, Burt’s Bee’s, Biore, Clean and Clear. At the end of every advertisement, I was sold. Over counter products has ingredients such as salicylic acid which helps prevent pores from clogging. Alpha hydroxy acids, that treat acne by removing dead skin cells and inflammation. Skin eventually looks smoother and pores look smaller. Initially my skin was really irritated with the use of such products, but it did get use to it with time. However, at that time, it did not stop my breakouts. My face would start to pulsate, a pain would occur, the area would turn red and a pimple would form within a couple days. I changed my products after a few months because it did not stop the pimples. It was a never ending and expensive cycle. But I still did not give up- I just couldn’t. After recovering from acne, these ingredients are helpful and part of my daily regimen.
Medicinal-The Quick Fix
After a year or so, I sought medicinal help. I went to dermatologist and thus began my journey with prescription medication. I was prescribed with Retin A micro and antibiotics to combat the acne. I used Tetracyclines – doxycycline, minocycline and Erythromycin. This regimen worked for a couple years and it was the best. I felt my confidence return and for a small window, I thought my battle was over. I got through a large part of college, sticking to this regimen. Once I diverted from the medication, my acne returned. After graduating from college, I was planning to get married. A few months before my wedding, my face became immune to the Retin A micro and the antibiotics. My underlying skin issues had returned.
Clarisonic – Wishful Thinking
Before my wedding, falling prey to my wishful thinking again, I purchased a Clarisonic. I was so excited about the idea of removing pore clogging dirt and dead skin cells. This skin care tool uses a brush to exfoliate the skin using a back and forth movement. I followed all the directions, but it turns out, using a brush on already sensitive skin exacerbates the problem. Initially I thought it was all part of the detoxification and purging process. After a few months, the break outs did not stop. In fact, it got worse. I had to stop using it.
Acne Laser Treatment- Dollar Dollar Bills Ya’ll
Luckily, I was able to get married with only one pimple which my make up artist tried her best to cover up. It is not ideal, but it could have been worse. I was always searching for help to cure this problem. Once getting married, I wanted what every girl wants- to wake up next to her husband and feel beautiful. There was a sense of comfort that existed between us, but I still felt ashamed of my skin. I found an acclaimed board certified cosmetic dermatologist, featured in US Weekly and other magazines. I spent thousands of dollars seeking treatment through a laser procedure called Isolaz. It is an FDA approved treatment used to treat black and white heads. It is supposed to clean pores from the inside out and reduce acne causing bacteria. Within 24 to 48 hours blemishes are supposed to be flattened. I completed a full session and spent thousands of dollars. After finishing my sessions, my skin was irritated, burned but my peach fuzz disappeared for a few months. It was then my doctor proposed using Accutane. A treatment used to treatment severe cystic acne, when all other medications had failed. My dermatologist was in Park avenue, yet he had the same solution as my dermatologist in a rinky dink office.
To Accutane or not to Accutane?
I wanted to get rid of my acne and Accutane claimed it would provide a solution. However, it also came with a long list of side effects including depression, anxiety and possible thoughts of suicide. My dermatologist tried to assuage my fears, by insisting his sister used it and she was fine. However, I had many blogs of mothers who claimed their babies had birth defects because of Accutane. I wanted to become a mother soon and after weighing my options, I decided to find another route to beat my acne. Having perfect skin was not worth compromising my quality of life and my unborn child. This was my choice, and everyone has their nonnegotiable- this was mine.
The Natural Route
Sandalwood, turmeric, honey, aloe-vera, witch hazel, garlic, toothpaste, lemons, oatmeal, cinnamon and rose water are a few ingredients used as home remedies. One of my favorite treatments is a honey and cinnamon mask. Honey makes the skin soft and can help break apart excess sebum. Cinnamon has antibacterial properties which can break apart excess sebum. My bathroom doubled as a second kitchen and my skin did improve. It did not make my acne worse, it helped decrease the blemishes but it the not solve the internal issues. I drank many concoctions from my local vitamin shop, and it was disgusting. I truly pushed myself to try whatever it took to make my skin look better. I did see changes in my skin, but this was a turning point. There is no link between food and acne in modern medicine and for a long time I believed that but that was about to change.
Allergist
Many doctors argue, “You are what you eat,” but also state “Acne is not caused by one’s diet.” I had it with anyone in the medical field, I needed to think about what was causing this acne. I had given birth to my son and my skin was at its worst. I had cystic acne all over my face and a lot around my jaw line and neck. It was painful, and the embarrassment did not cease to exist. I had severe acne, eyes that constantly ran water and lower back pain. I decided perhaps my body was trying to tell me something, I opted to visit an allergist. After many appointments and hours in the waiting room, he claimed I was allergic to tomatoes, carrots, curry and gluten. I drastically changed my diet, but my acne did not get better.
Brown and Out
Life without curry as a brown person was hard but I did it all in the name of clear skin. I continued to pay attention to my already healthy diet. I started to listen to my body. My vision was blurry, despite getting my eyes checked. My lower back always hurt, and I was really tired all the time. Most of my acne was around my jawline which is due to hormonal shifts and imbalances. I started doing a lot of research about the foods I was consuming. I stumbled upon diary and specifically milk. Dairy has over sixty different hormones which many have argued is one of the worst things one can drink or consume. The hormones found in milk can overstimulate oil glands and cause over production of oil. This clog one’s pores and thus causing pimples. It was a no brainer, after all these years. My search was over, and it was all made sense. I went diary free and within a few months, my acne decreased dramatically. My jaw line cleared up and any pimples on my face. After a long battle my skin was finally acne free! I was able to see properly, and my lower back stopped hurting. If I accidently consume diary, my body reacts right away I get a pimple along the jaw line, my eyes get blurry and my back hurts.
The End.
I have a lot of acne scars and my skin is damaged from years of acne. I have worked hard to create a skin routine that minimizes the acne scars, hyperpigmentation and indention of the skin. It is emotional to write about this because I did not appreciate the beauty in my reflection until it changed. It is a disease that has humbled me and changed my outlook. Had it not been for this journey, beauty would have remained skin deep. When I look back at my twenties, it does sadden me that I spent most of it focused on my face. The pain of cystic acne and the embarrassment consumed me for years. I am blessed to have a husband that did not mention my face and supported me through the process. He loved me at a time when I did not feel attractive or beautiful. It is part of my story and has taught me the value of being content, not taking anything for granted and true meaning of beauty.
Moral of the story- There is no quick fix, you must do the work for yourself and find your triggers. It will take time and patience.
